during lunch yesterday Alec fell off the path into the sand, he had twisted his leg and fallen.
He lay there and children tried to approach him, he lashed out and squealed, his teacher tried to calm him, he was frantic trying to get the sand out of his eyes. He didn't know what was happening, what were these strange feelings he was having, everything was all too much so all he could do was withdraw, touch would have been painful, he was in pain, but he doesn't know it is pain.
If I had the power I would protect him from every hurt, I can't. I hate that he hurt and couldn't say he hurt, I hate that he felt out of control, panic and fear. I need to understand so I can teach him.
I'm sad, just so sad.
School is difficult to deal with at the moment. How do you convey in mere words all the little things about your child that are different from the child next to them but make them in need of more help, more time and more resources, especially when the teachers haven't had experience with an autistic child before. They get funding for Alec, but we don't get the amount of one on one work that we are funded for, I sometimes think they don't quiet get it, every time they send the aide somewhere else they are reducing Alec's ability to learn. We don't ask for more than we are entitled, we try not to be too pushy, we just want the right thing to be done. I'm frustrated right now, I don't know what else to do. I would love to be able to afford another school, we have heard of some wonderful programs at other schools, maybe that is where my wages will go when I start work next year. I can't let Alec down and I feel as though the school is at the moment.
Labels: autism, school