Monday, October 16, 2006
Kindy went back today, all the kids were excited, Alec included, he couldn't wait to say hello to everyone, he just doesn't know the right way to go about it. He was trying to talk over them, get in the group, be a part of it but it just didn't work out that way. I saw hurt and confusion cross his face fleetingly and I felt pain, pain because I never wanted to see my baby as an outsider.

As I walked away I wondered how it would be as he got older, would he understand better the rules of our society. This is when I feel defeated because I lack those tools I need to make it right for him, I know we can only go forward from here, I just wish some days it didn't feel like such a difficult path we will have to travel.