On Tuesday our bed fiasco will come to an end. We bought ourselves a new king sized ensemble and it will be delivered Tuesday (sometime, within a two hour window). So as we only have queen sized sheets I thought I better go and buy some kings sized and took off for the Shreidan outlet store. Sheridan make truly gorgeous sheets but I was out for a bargain today and I found them!! This is where you need your sunnies, I got the sheets for $25 a set reduced from $119.95 so for that price I can live with mango and purple. Sleeping on the floor hasn't been that bad except for when you wake up in the night and swing your legs off the bed, then have to crawl around the floor in the dark.


And then I left myself this last night. (it is 11:07am and it is still there, waiting, silently)

I just couldn't be bothered, it has been one of those weeks where I long for some carefree waste-able time where I could perhaps pop out and meet someone for coffee or take a stroll on the beach or just plain run away, a long way away instead of wondering where on earth are the other 3 pairs of Alec's school socks, has he done his homework, have I answered Riley 400th question for the day and have I prepared dinner for the family and are the cats fed. The weekend will bring no relief, I'm in need of relief and polite appreciative children. Alec is moody and sullen and dramatic and trying his hand at blackmail right now.. if you don't let me take my lego gun to school I am going to drop it right now.. well buddy you go ahead and drop it it isn't going to school. He was really put out when it didn't work but he keeps trying.

And now I have a headache, so I made myself a double shot coffee, now all I need is someone to empty the dishwasher for me and stack in those dishes, while I sit here and have more fantasies about house elves and how I so want one because I loathe cooking, cleaning and laundry (more so than usual right now)

Alec isn't very good at organising himself. This usually isn't a problem as I try to do it for him. Sometimes this doesn't work. Alec's teacher also does things for him, takes his library book, lets me know if something is coming up. Alec is pretty slap dash about notes, some I get some I don't. Last night he tells me he needs a shoe box for a Bilby house, this is good, it is also something he is excited about, I didn't get the note about the Bilby house though.

At about ten to twelve yesterday I find Alec's hat and morning tea sitting on the lounge, he must have taken them out after I packed his bag. They can't go out to play without a hat, I really hoped the teacher had a spare (imagine slightly sick sinking feeling with an oh no added), she didn't at recess but they decided to let him go without a hat as he gets very stressed and agitated, thankfully they found the spare hat at lunch time. This is where it gets hard, normally you would say, well as you don't have a hat you can't play, Alec just doesn't get that, he does on one level, he knows you must have a hat, but getting him to realise the implications to him we haven't had much luck with.

Try as I may to get Alec to pack his bag himself nothing is working, therefore it is easier for me to do. I thought on days we do drive though to pick him up he would pack his bag and use the schedule I made, he doesn't like the schedule much anymore it sets him apart from the other kids and they notice, this is just what I think he thinks, I don't think they do. I would place it on his desk but that already has his excuse me card, a sight word sheet and a reward sheet he wouldn't have much room left to work, I have thought about making a mini one laminating it and attaching it to the bag.

We did have a big surprise on the weekend, I will let you read about it over at cafe grendel as Michael blogged about it. Alec has come so far I can not ever sing the praises of early intervention enough, he will learn as he goes now, it wont always be easy because at the end of the day Alec is autistic and that wont change those core traits are things he will have to work around but being able to communicate where once he couldn't is a testament to the work Alec has done too.

So today after dropping the boys at school I had to come home, collect morning tea, the Bilby house and twigs and leaves and the library book and take them back to school, not a big deal for me but a huge difference for Alec, Cathy said.. let me take that.. oh and that, so when it comes time to do things he has them.

My first instinct is to protect and shield him from things but I know I have to take a step back and let him experience things and learn from them, it can be very hard to do.

Labels: autism

Which is the recommended resolution but boy it is big! web sites look awfully empty on this 24" monitor I have 17" just didn't do it for me any more. So I went and picked up my early birthday present today, I smiled all the way home. It looks pretty awesome and photoshop is huge!!! I love that bit and it looks good on my table, I relegated the scanner to a small table so it wasn't too squashed because once this table collects rubbish, dust and toys there isn't much room, today is the exception as I cleaned it for the new monitor.

Okay the layouts were an after thought, I had to fight my way back onto the computer because Alec thought Command and Conquer might look totally awesome on the new monitor.

So here are some Buzz and Bloom layouts I can share here now, I love both of these, I am really happy with what I am doing right now.

Labels: stuff

My neighbour had a baby Sunday night, after several days in labour she agreed to an epidural, unfortunately bubs heart rate plummeted and they had to have an emergency c-section, then I just read I have an eight year old peanut over at creative junkie (I so love her stories). So anyway even hearing the word c-section can send me reeling, I have Riley's birth story written down and locked in some lead lined double locked box somewhere, ok actually it is tucked behind a photo in his scrapbook album because isn't that something you should share with your children, the pain, the fear, the gallons (ok maybe a 1/2 litre or so) of blood that wasn't meant to flow when they took your c-section stitch out, I mean in my naievety I never once thought about what would happen if your wound opened, 5 days after welcoming mr 10lbs 6oz and 57cm i learnt. Riley wasn't only a c-section delivery they threw some forceps in for good measure because he liked it there and he wasn't coming out, I remember the dialogue between my ob and the nurse so well..

dr - forceps please..

nurse - what??

dr - FORCEPS NOW

it was a holy crap moment then the drugs kicked in and the rest was a bit of a blur. Even though my new bundle of joy was in the neo natal ward for a week I actually enjoyed hospital, that was until stitch taking out day. The nurse came in we chatted I flashed her and she started taking out my stitch, just one, a big long single stitch, it sort of stuck in the middle, gave a little ping and then my nether regions became very warm and wet, unfortunately I hadn't pee'd myself, oh how I wish I had, now it was blood. I was frozen and she had panic on her face then the emergency call button was sounding and OMFG it was for me, next thing I knew there were 8 people in my room and loads of blood.

Once it was cleaned up the full extent on the situation became clear, I called Michael and sobbed, you have to come now.. and he did.

I was upset. This is an understatement. In the end after a short trip home an infection and more visits to the doctor than most people have in a lifetime they booked be back in, scrubbed me clean and sewed me up. Looking back it wasn't that painful just terribly traumatic in the post traumatic stress kind of traumatic, my umbilical hernia op the following year was a real eye opener and introduced me to the meaning of pain.

So now every now and then something happens and I find myself in the shower replaying the two weeks before Riley's birth and all the things I could have done to avoid what happened, you see I went in to labour at 38 weeks, a few days before I thought I had a rather weak bladder but it seemed to stop, when the nurse asked me before I went home when the contractions had stopped if I had had any leaking I said no, having no experience of labour it didn't even cross my mind, I have to give myself a good shake and give myself the get over it talk because you can't go back, we survived it was hard for all of us but we came out the other side and now 4 years 10 months and 18 days later I have the funniest child in the world , who is funny and smart and vowed at the age of 4 and 1/2 that he would look after his big bruffer forever, I cried, he worships Alec but he also knows that Alec is different, he couldn't tell you what autism is but he knows it well.

In the end it doesn't matter how they got here, they are here and I love them both, I was just betrayed by my pelvis, for a long time I felt cheated and for a long time (ok I still do) blamed myself, now I just have to keep the shower for shopping lists instead of birth revision, it is time I eased up on myself.

Oh and what is wrong with me (don't answer that) it is my birthday in a month, I want a 24" monitor, but you know we need a new computer in 18 months, you shouldn't really waste the money now just on a monitor, I can wait... this is me to Michael, I don't want anything else, but I also don't want him to spend all that money on me, what type of deranged woman am I?????????? I want it but I don't, I can't figure me out, if I say yes I will feel guilty but damn it I want a big monitor so I can have a huge work area in photoshop, I might even be totally ridiculous and run both monitors so I can have tools on the little one..

Labels: stuff

I have loved these photos, in fact they are framed on my studio wall and I have finally scrapped them. You can see the whole layout over at Buzz and Bloom. They were taken in January of 2004, just before Alec turned 2!!!

I needed a good laugh to take my mind off the chemical burns I managed to give myself while trying to remove the inch long hairs from my legs the lazy way. Suffice to say this has never happened before but the winter dry legs may have something to do with it... so back to the laughter, Michael found this blog and kept calling me over to look, you have to go and see for your self it is called cake wrecks and it is hilarious.

Birthday parties and soccer this weekend and hopefully dismantling of the Ikea bed... yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

So I was driving home from the supermarket yesterday, once again stunned at how much prices have gone up in the last year and how when I see something special I buy lots, like the 4 punnets (250gram) of strawberries for $1.89 a punnet because Riley loves them. So maybe you would like to join me in scan your shopping docket so we can see what a) you are buying (because we are nosey) b) what it costs.

So here we bought 41 items and spent $174, this after spending $50 earlier in the day and this is for 2 weeks and I will usually spend another $100 during those 2 weeks on groceries.

So if you can be bothered scan your shopping docket and leave me a comment so I can come and compare.

Labels: stuff

I so wish I did more these days but I am enjoying what I am getting done. This took the better part of the day, I made myself wait for things like glue to dry. I can be terrible at trying to rush because I want to see the finished page, now I am trying to enjoy the process a little more too.

So here is poor old Riley, I thought it was a story that needed to be remembered. He looked so sad, he told me he couldn't smile anymore or eat, neither lasted long



And now for a major whine... several weeks ago we misguidedly purchased a bed from Ikea!!! well do you want to imagine how I felt when at 3am said bed gently lowered me to the floor, the slats had fallen off the frame. This happened again and again to the point where I now hate the bed. I called and let my displeasure be known and they offered a full refund, but you can't imagine what the thought of dismantling the bed and then actually being able to find a way to return it left us feeling. So Michael did some gerry rigging and while I still hated it I wasn't going to end up on the floor, until this morning at 5:30am.

It had this rather pathetic beam down the middle and while it is firmly attached at either end the middle bit is twisted and the slaps just slipped off. I talked to Ikea again and supplied photos, I waited all day for a call back but nothing yet so I called again, I want that bed gone and I would so love them to come and get it!!! There is obviously something wrong with it so they should come and get it and give me a refund... oh and to top it all off the latex mattress stinks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my bedroom smells like a toilet, I don't know how much longer I could have waited for it to air out anymore, 5 weeks would be enough don't you think, I'm so not looking forward to going to bed tonight, it stresses me out no end.

*NEWS FLASH*

I'm thrilled to report that Ikea are going to give us a full refund for the bed and oh so stinky mattress, I am still an Ikea lover, in fact we are going to pick up a new bookcase for the boys this week, we just aren't going to buy any more beds from them, just to be safe.

Labels: scrapbooking, stuff

wow, I have been blogging for 7 years! I started out when I found out I was pregnant with Alec, I originally hosted my own blog and I used greymatter , it was a great little platform but unfortunately my web host did an upgrade one day and it would never work for me again. By then I had Alec and Riley was on the way so a move to blogger was the simplest thing I could think to do, by then it had turned from my ramblings to my ramblings about scrapbooking, kids, life and anything else I can think of.

I enjoy my blog but I am a cowardly blogger, I avoid controversy, I would love to lay it all out but sometimes I figure I would rather go somewhere else and read stuff that puts the cat among the pigeons and keep my little corner cowardly but peaceful. I read a few blogs from different sides of the autism divide and I just don't think I could handle the behaviour one side considers acceptable being directed towards me, so here I sit in safety enjoying myself and sharing bits of our life with friends and strangers that have become friends, leaving the pot stirring for others.

So here are a few more 365 day photos ready for the book

here I was thinking I was earning good mummy points by taking the boys to the park on their bikes this afternoon. We hadn't been there two minutes and I see Riley take a tumble, I called out to him to see if he is ok because it looked like he got quiet a jolt, he calls out he is fine and the next thing I hear another little boy yelling out.. no he isn't there is blood dripping from his chin!!

If only it had just been drips, it was pouring out of a very large hole under his chin!!!!! I scooped him up and took him to the steps and tried laying him down, whenever he gets hurt he goes into denial.. no no I am fine leave it alone no don't look at it. I wrestled him back and another mum at the park hands me a wad of paper towel.. I'm glad she was there.

Luckily across the road from the park lives a little girl in Alec's class so I carried him over and thankfully Jo was home, there was still blood pouring out and Riley is looking very worried but is far more cooperative now and we were able to get a nice big dressing on it.

We retrieved the bikes and Jo kindly drove us home, Riley is now ensconced on the lounge with he blankie, some chocolate buttons and an ice pack and I have finally stopped shaking too!

He told me he can't smile anymore, not that I would ask for a smile when the major component of the photo is blood!

Labels: kids, Riley

When you set out to reduce your reliance on something due to human error you are once again thankful you have such aides. What is she talking about you wonder. Well if you remember the other day I was wanting to take more care with my photography, concentrate on capturing better photos with the camera and less post processing.

This is all well and good until you have an off day and just pick up the camera and click away, forgetting that you were set for inside shooting, white balance set to tungsten light and 800 iso.. while you were standing outside on a lovely sun kissed verndah.

The first image is straight off the camera... oh dear, what a sad effort, I was so caught up in getting the photo I didn't even think, it didn't help that I felt as though my head was going to fall off, photography and illness don't mix, thankfully 10 hours in bed and I was feeling human again, pity by then it was midnight. But I digress..


And here we have the glory of photoshop laid out before us, I am thankful on days like this I shoot in raw. The original image needed the exposure tweaked, the black levels increased, back light and contrast, not to mention the temperature changed, as I understand it the temperature is what determines what the white balance is, being warmer and cooler for different tones it creates.


So there is another lesson for me, while getting the image right in the first place be thankful for photoshop and raw format photos, they may be freaking huge but now you have a photo of your mum on her birthday.

Labels: photography